To listen to this post click below. Waring: the audio is way more emotional and is guaranteed to pull your heart strings a little deeper. (Yes, I will cry, if you don’t like crying or feeling deep things, don’t click haha)
Typing the title to this post already has me choked up. This topic is one that I will forever and always remember, cherish, and apply.
The last couple months for our family has been really weird.. Or I guess I should say unexpected. We’ve had a couple friends pass away. Both from high school, one closer than the other, but both instances were a sudden surprise. I learned so much from each scenario, but let’s talk about this one today.
About a few months ago we had a basement apartment to our townhome complex open up, so we offered it to him and his gf. I’m just going to leave it at that. There’s a whole other story, but it’s the type of thing where when someone passes, that part of the story should just be left where it began. To sum it up, there was drama. I mean, LOTS. I seriously thought I belonged to a reality tv show where someone was going to come right out and say “GOTCHA.” Okay, maybe not that kind of show, but some type of show. It just seemed way too weird to be my actual life, ya know?
So, let’s jump into the thoughts of the distressed mom who was trying to live that somewhat functioning life in the midst of a drama filled season-
Gosh. I ‘m just so bugged by the whole situation. Like SO BUGGED.
I thought for once in my life drama was left back in sophomore year of college.
**Side note-The last time I actually saw Brian.. Brax invited him late in the day to our Sunday dinner that was already prepared. For some reason that boiled my blood. My thoughts from this day..
I already made the dang chicken and didn’t make enough. I don’t even eat pasta and now I have to make him a little serving of pasta so he can eat what Brax is eating. So inconvenient.
Brian is apologizing AGAIN, I just wish the whole situation never existed in the first place. But, I really appreciate the apology.
Ivy seriously loves Brian. Brian has so much fun with her.
Gosh, I’m still so frustrated though. I really hope he doesn’t want to eat all the chicken. Like, I REALLY want good leftovers tomorrow.
Don’t make eye contact Rylee, you’re still mad, remember? Just avoid the situation. Keep small talk. It’s okay he will leave soon and you can spend time quality time with Bubby.
I’m so grateful for Brax, he can make this situation less awkward for me.
Thank goodness this night came just as fast as it started. No more awkward situations.
And, that was the last night. Just. Like. That.
The next week was a blur, Brax kept up with him, but I minded my own business. I mean I’m a busy mama and surely had “better” things to do.
Brax filled me in. He came in the doors and told me that Brian was leaving out of town to work that weekend. Sounds good, still don’t really care?
Next week, I’m working from home, thoughts were along the lines-
(Brax walks in. Pale in face.) Brian just died. Wait what? Lol no he didn’t. They’re just kidding. That can’t be true, there’s no way! Hahah! Just go to the hospital and see what happened.
Phone call after the hospital. It was true. It really did happen.
How? Why so sudden? No goodbyes? Nothing. Seriously, just like that???
I’m gonna step away from my thoughts just to get the gist of the story out. Brian surely had passed away and it really was so confusing at first. Nothing made sense and I kept waiting for him to come knock on the door.
He never did and he still hasn’t.
The night of and the nights after, we found ourselves sitting outside. Either on the grass, down by his door, or on the patio. We would hold each other talk, and sometimes get emotional. Okay, a lot of times.. We cried. I repeated this over and over… I should’ve offered him all the chicken. Why didn’t I just give him all my dang chicken?
Life lessons can jump out of no where.
I knew I was being selfish in all our situations and all the thoughts I had been having. But, I mean it was Brian? He really didn’t care. Or did he? Everyone tells me he probably didn’t care, but you know what matters. I didn’t offer him more chicken and I easily could’ve.
Life is wayyy too easy to get caught up in and for some reason spreading love gets harder and harder the older you get. Your guard gets put up and the selfishness pops out. It happens to the best of us, but this was the reminder.
Offer all your chicken to your loved ones, friends, strangers, honestly ANYONE. It really doesn’t matter. When this life passes to the next, what did you do to show abounding love?
I just want everyone to know that this is life and IT WILL END. Show kindness every step along the way. If you don’t, that’s okay you can start again. It’s a never ending cycle of getting back on your feet and trying. In the end, if you tried and made a difference somewhere, somehow… You made it. You did what you came here to do.
When I saw Brian in the casket, I knew he was there with me. I felt him give me a hug to let me know that it was okay. It’s okay, Rylee. I understand.
I’m grateful for Brian and his whole life. We surely had some funny times. I will never forget our adventures. I’m also grateful for you being Braxton’s best friend.
We love you Brian. Thanks for the lessons and the life lessons. Can’t wait to see you soon!